As Don and I - and only Don and I - can speak from experience, the playoffs in this league are not for the faint of heart. Weeks of preparation, execution, and shit-talking have lead us here. In the heat of the off-season - when the rest of you are unwittingly challenging each other for highest homo-quotient as you debate the ins and outs of baseball, or just mentioned it in passing; In the raging fires of the draft - while some of you auto-drafted, and others yet, simply failed; Through the inferno that is the regular season, demolishing some, and squeaking out wins against others via heightened roster management skills; this is how the teeth of a playoff-worthy contender are cut. There are no do-overs. Unlike this little r-tard that called into 106 Jams in Chicago about 15 years ago who needed three tries to get a shout-out to a hip-hop radio station right.
Let's see...where to begin. I'll first say, well done. You and Dr. H have CLEARLY been involved in this one from the get go seeing as how he is the only one with access to those pictures or that wretchedly white soundbyte. Not to mention that pink silk Hawaiian shirt and bucket hat..and frosted hair. What the fuck was I thinking.
That said, I will address the fact that you said you and Frank controlled your destiny going into last week, which couldn't be farther from the case as you both required a combination of wins and losses to get in. (I on the other hand, had sealed the deal the week before) Another curious prompt was that of the "props for those who didn't make the playoffs" followed by a picture with me in it. I suppose the props could have been unrelated, and the picture was in reference to the "future also rans of Any Given Sunday" which I think is comical. Not in the funny joke kind of way, but in the fact I can't believe you think I will ever fade from relevance in a league that exists only as a generous specimen that I have painstakingly donated to the sterile plastic fantasy cup that is life.
In closing I will say two things:
1. One ought not to shite talk he who shites the biggest shite.
2. You have a "Mrs" now who A.) hates fantasy football and B.) would LOVE to help me find some embarrasing little Clements nuggets for my end-of-year-rundown just to fuck with you. The only difference is I'll be typing my post with the trophy sitting next to my computer instead of an empty Hot Box pizza and a wad of crispy tissues.
Let's see...where to begin. I'll first say, well done. You and Dr. H have CLEARLY been involved in this one from the get go seeing as how he is the only one with access to those pictures or that wretchedly white soundbyte. Not to mention that pink silk Hawaiian shirt and bucket hat..and frosted hair. What the fuck was I thinking.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I will address the fact that you said you and Frank controlled your destiny going into last week, which couldn't be farther from the case as you both required a combination of wins and losses to get in. (I on the other hand, had sealed the deal the week before) Another curious prompt was that of the "props for those who didn't make the playoffs" followed by a picture with me in it. I suppose the props could have been unrelated, and the picture was in reference to the "future also rans of Any Given Sunday" which I think is comical. Not in the funny joke kind of way, but in the fact I can't believe you think I will ever fade from relevance in a league that exists only as a generous specimen that I have painstakingly donated to the sterile plastic fantasy cup that is life.
In closing I will say two things:
1. One ought not to shite talk he who shites the biggest shite.
2. You have a "Mrs" now who
A.) hates fantasy football and
B.) would LOVE to help me find some embarrasing little Clements nuggets for my end-of-year-rundown just to fuck with you. The only difference is I'll be typing my post with the trophy sitting next to my computer instead of an empty Hot Box pizza and a wad of crispy tissues.
Good luck sucking cock this week. Cock suckers.